The effects of being dropped on your head...by your husband

In approximately the year 2000 I was introduced to my husband. My then boyfriend instructed me which driveway to turn into, and proceeded to introduce me to his best friend Nicholas. I was less than impressed. He was a smoker, and he was arrogant, and he was kind of a dick.

The conversation started something along the lines of, "I'm really strong." To which my reply was, "How strong? I bet you couldn't pick me up. I'm pretty heavy." I am 5'5 and then, weighed 160 pounds. I though that's the heaviest I would ever be...oh how little I knew. Anyways, he proceeded to walk over, grab me and hoist me onto his shoulders, lose his grip on my legs and as I slid down his back and my head connected with the hard ground, I remember thinking: What the Fuck?

The years passed and Nicholas and I weren't each others' favorite person. My high school boyfriend and I broke up and got back together a billion times, as only teenagers do. When I graduated I didn't see Nicholas again for almost a year.

On that day, I was on my way to class at Clark State Community College, at the Brinkman building downtown. He was standing outside (smoking) in a black trench coat and dark glasses. I wasn't even sure it was him at first, and sitting here now I cannot remember which of us spoke first. We ended up ditching class and he drove me around awhile. I showed him my apartment, he took me out to look at one I was thinking of moving to, and we touched briefly on the topic of his old friend...my ex...and my new baby.

I was a single mother at 18 years old. I was reckless and immature, and my "aha moment" was sitting at the Child Support office with my ex (who brought Nicholas and another mutual friend as a support system) and the boy I cheated on him with, while we waited on a paternity test. I haven't felt humiliation and shame stronger than I have ever felt it that day. I doubt I ever will.

So after a day of apartment hunting, catching up and flirting Nicholas and I kept in touch via instant messenger, and email, and phone. One day, while doing homework online at home I got an instant message from who I thought was Nicholas. It was my ex - his best friend - to my surprise. He said Nicholas was in the bathroom, but that he had shown my ex all of our messages and that he (Nicholas) was playing a mean trick on me to get revenge on me for cheating on him (my ex) and that he just didn't think it was right.

At this point I'm not sure why I chose to believe my ex instead of Nicholas, who of course tried to fill me in after he found out what my ex told me. I wish I hadn't because I went through a lot of stuff I probably wouldn't have, had Nicholas and I had our chance then to see where our relationship was going. I broke it off and told Nicholas I didn't want to talk to him again. In the meantime, I continued talking to my ex - we never got back together - but he made me feel like he missed me, and I guess at that point in my life I wanted things to be back the way they were between us in high school. Looking back on that relationship now, I don't think it was ever a healthy one, nor was it meant to be.

Fast-forward to 2004, my twenty-first birthday. My friend Martin, whom I was "talking to" called me to see if he could bring Nick to my party with him that night. I was more than a little surprised that Nick wanted to come, and that I was anxious to see him. That was the night that really started it all.

We met in a parking lot my the mall and they (Martin and Nick) were going to follow me back to my apartment. When I pulled up next to the cream color full-size Bronco, and Nick got out, my heart literally stopped beating. He was so different; he'd lost almost half of his body weight after having gastric bypass, he was dressed in snug jeans and a nice shirt, and he had his classic dark shades on. He looked happy to see me too, and the day progressed.  That night before he took a sick, slightly drunk Martin home, we shared our first kiss. It was bind-blowing, and frankly had he not had to leave, we would have ended up in bed together right then and there.

The rest, as they say, is history. I still have a hard time believing that we ended up together, married for seven years with three children.

Happy, happy, happy....wait a minute.

So the last month or so has been really interesting...if you're someone else. For me, this past month has been one mind-fuck after another. Job #1 was bogus, job #2 was worse. Now here I am, unemployed AGAIN/STILL and not a happy camper. Let's add to the steaming pile by saying that teacher conferences were AWESOME...my oldest is failing everything. Yes, I said everything. Why? I don't know but I can guess.

I have been so incredibly busy between these jobs (worked 60 hours last week) that I haven't been keeping up with his homework and making him do the work. MOTHER OF THE YEAR HERE PEOPLE! I missed my daughter's first field trip ever (preschool field trip, but still) and I didn't see my kids or my husband at all last week. That's not an exaggeration either. Sigh.

I have to leave to pick up my son from scouts now, but more later if I can remember...